I am frequently asked by clients – “But Bernie how do I learn to trust?”. My answer is always the same –You learn to trust by trusting.
Otherwise the very inner guidance that I now believe we must trust – ‘our only way home’ is left unused – no wonder the feeling of being lost at sea sets in when we fail to take action again and again.
We learn in this order – firstly we have to take a leap of faith at the moment of our birth as a vulnerable baby, then we get the chance if that goes well to take ‘baby steps’. From that place of trust babies become experimental. On a physical level as babies start to move they are willing to fail over and over. Even when it hurts a little to fall the desire to walk is so ingrained that they never stop trying- no matter what.
The thing is we have to chose to trust. I can pinpoint one incident with a childhood friend and one incident in my early sales career where my ‘trust’ led to devastating betrayals. Remember our neural pathways forms in pairs continuously. You can read that again here.
In both of the areas of the former, i.e. ‘friendships and work’, because of those painful experiences I simply didn’t trust my own judgement and when we don’t trust that, it is hard to trust others too. We can isolate ourselves in the process. As the white noise becomes louder, our inner guidance becomes drowned out- it is one of the most disempowering states to be in. Whereas sometimes when we simply have to trust as I did in 2010 we can experience the total opposite, and in those moments of trusting we can experience deep inner peace and an inner transformation of those neural pathways.
So how can you reactivate that inner knowing to help you take more action. The audio attached is a guide I have made to help you reconnect or improve the audibility of your inner compass which was very active in your early exploration. In this recording I ask you to travel back to a sad memory and pay attention to how it feels in their body. I then will ask you to travel to a really happy memory and see how that feels in your body as well. There is generally a massive difference. The latter being really positive light and warm. I recorded this audio a couple of years ago and as I listened to it the other day it still felt on point but I had a nagging intuitive feeling there was something I needed to add, and this thought for today has brought it to the surface. It came to me with real clarity just as I was out on the beach.
The reason I can trust my internal judgement so much more now is that those memories of sad and happy involved trust. In my go to memories I acted on TRUST with totally different results. I realise now that it’s not just about going back to happy and sad memories- it’s about (and if you do listen to the audio remember to do this important detail) revisiting memories that are sad and happy based on the action of TRUST.
Our bodies have an amazing ability to record our responses and so chances are you will have had devastating experiences and wonderful experience’s based on TRUST too in any part of your timeline, which you can now use to re- navigate your way forward, trusting yourself as you go. (There is a caveat with regards to ‘primal fear’ which I also cover in the audio too, so if that has popped up in your mind don’t worry it’s all covered there).
Also remember the golden threads- we all to different degrees have certain areas in our lives where we have been willing to fail and fall over and over again just like we did as babies learning to walk. Somehow something internal drove, us on. What I have discovered is we can learn to harness the courage and determination we demonstrated in those areas into the areas where we feel stuck due to primal based fears. So whether we simply had to trust or we had the opportunity to take baby steps to help us trust -our body can steer us with these memories and we can weave from either.
So remember it’s okay to take baby steps into the unknown, but do it daily on the little things and expand from there. Now and again a leap of faith will be required but just remember if we follow our inner guidance by harnessing those memories and take action, we can trust that the wings will appear and we will fly!
With love until tomorrow.
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