He knew something, the Night Bus Driver, from the Harry Potter film, The Prisoner of Azakaban, didn’t he? He knew of Harry’s resistance to what was, i.e. believing in the possibility of such a bus in the first place. Harry was still torn between the world of magic and reality, due to those years of conditioning, at the hands of his Aunt and Uncle, and therefore bingo, Harry’s ride was really, really, bumpy.
Did you notice, that the other passengers on the bus, didn’t so much as bat an eyelid? (if you are not Harry Potter fans this may be lost on you, but I have I feeling if you read my blog, you might be!)
So, it begs the question, one I ask myself often, when things start to feel bumpy; that question being:
“What’s your resistance, to what is currently happening in your life?”
For, if you feel like you are now on, or have been at times, on a bumpy ride, and are puzzled, well, what you might not have realised, as I didn’t; is that your resistance is the cause.
Trust me I’ve had so much resistance going on, years of it, and the more you resist, well, the bumpier the ride. Effectively we are resisting life, what we are actually saying is:
A big NO, to what is actually happening.
Going with it, going in flow feels so much better, and when we do this, ironically, things start to feel better and shortly after, a shift should occur.
Does that mean I resist no more? No, of course not, but because I had an intense period of resistance, in pretty big scale, I also experienced it dissolving, by full surrender. Subsequently, I’m quicker at spotting it now, but I would also like to add that, I was very, very, stubborn in the past, so I’m a real work of progress in this matter, and therefore my ‘quicker’ could be like other peoples ‘slower.’
After all I did crawl through an electric shock obstacle only a few months ago, in the Tough Mudder event. Clearly I needed another reminder of the pain caused by resistance, but that full story will come later. In the meantime all I’ll say is when I find myself resisting my feelings, or resisting what is going on, now I only have to remember how doing that electric obstacle felt and it helps me give in to those feelings, and honour them. Thank you electric wires!!
I am also since then, even more passionate about listening to my inner being, my intuition, and even affirming this helps give into the resistance. Yes, those closest to me (especially my inner critic) will be quick to point out that this ‘awareness’, often seems to have yet again escaped my attention, as old habits cling on; but like anything it takes practice, and we all benefit when I’m back in flow, so this practice is paying off.
“Whatever you fight you strengthen and whatever you resist, persists”. (Eckhart Tolle)
Believe me that meaning gets wiser and wiser every time I have another breakthrough moment.
So what does your life currently feel like? Does, why oh why is this happening to me sound familiar? When maybe, the better question for you too, could be:
“What is it that I’m resisting”?
Can you bring to mind, the feeling, that you get, during actual bumpy road car journeys.
‘Oh why is it a bumpy road, this is uncomfortable, I don’t like it, I hate this’. Then maybe you give into it, and ..accept it. Suddenly what’s ahead, a new smooth Road, ‘ha….Heaven’. Some minutes later, back to bumpy… ‘Knew it was too good to be true’ and on, and on, it goes. Now I know that you will all relate to that in real terms, but I am also using the roads as a metaphor, so let’s bring the connection in.
The difference is not the road it’s our attitude to the road. Sure, the Road Dept. do need to fill in those potholes, but I doubt they can guarantee, that all their roads will be 100% smooth, 100% of the time, anymore than you can be guaranteed, that your life, will always run a smooth course.
What you can do is this, you can choose which roads you travel on, you are the Director, Writer and Producer of your own story. Knowing where the road is leading you, can be very motivating, so if you don’t like the feeling of that same old road, if it’s painful, is it time you travelled down the other one, the one less travelled by? That doesn’t mean, you will have all the facts to hand, once again, this is not about, cast iron guarantees, but you will have a ‘feel good feeling’, if you are on the right road for YOU, at the time, that’s your intuition, lean into it.
You can also prepare better, in the event of getting slightly lost or temporarily redirected so maybe you can choose the type of car you drive, to cope with the bumpy roads, maybe one with better suspension, better support. Translate ‘car’ to your mind and body, make them fit for the journey, keep your body and your thoughts healthy. Maybe your ‘suspension’ is your diet, your belief system, support network, family, friends, coaches, mentors, etc and like an effective car suspension, a flexible belief system, one held loosely in your hands, works best.
How about driving at a more comfortable speed, translate that to, stop pushing so hard, it’s not a race. (I’m frequently working on this one as it’s what I’m best at believe me, and the whole reason I’m able to write about it now). How about changing the mood in the car by changing from Moany news MW to Smooth FM uplifting music, i.e. make the journey more fun! Play the soundtrack that makes YOU feel good. (Smooth FM does actually exists in the UK, it’s a well known Glasgow station, it doesn’t seem at all ironic that it was the channel preprogrammed into my bedside radio at the Priory back in 2010.
This transition in your mind, will mean changing up a gear from your inner critic to your inner wisdom. Trust me, it’s there, but better still, check in with yourself and find out, and if you actually stop to question those thoughts? Well you just might find you are no longer in resistance mode, and your journey, simply feels smoother!
The road has not necessarily changed at all.
With me? Or have my metaphors gone too far down that bumpy road.
So to regroup, if your life feels like it’s really bumpy, unpleasant and uncomfortable, why not stop for a minute and try these two things.
Firstly, accept what is going on, right now, right here right now. Now, that doesn’t mean lie down and give up by the way, it just means, accept what is actually happening. Breathe in and out through your nose, and again and again and again, and let the stillness fill you. Surrender, whatever it is your resisting to the Universe, let it help you, it’s like plugging in your seat belt, it’s protecting YOU on your journey, and I promise you, there will be a really important road sign, up ahead, giving you the very diversion or information, you just might need, to get you, back onto that smooth road again. The more you tune into it, the less you’ll notice the bumps, that will inevitably pop up along the way!
Secondly you could try this, question the thought that’s causing you so much pain, you might actually discover it’s not even true. For guidance on how to do this there is no better technique I believe than the one devised by Byron Katie. I use her Inquiry method personally a lot. I also use this regularly with my 1-1 clients and in the ‘Love and Cherish the Skin You’re In’ workshops.
Click on this for guided notes from Byron:
Its our choice, we do have free will, so you see it doesn’t have to be a bumpy ride after all!
Til the next time