Give yourself permission to be..

One of the things that I love about long car journeys on my own is that I still get to hang out with inspirational human beings – via the medium of podcasts. They never fail to give me something that I needed to hear. One of my total favourites and a real treasure trove for any writer in the genre of ‘being a human’ is The Beautiful Writers Podcast by Linda Sivertsen. I am just post an episode with Maria Shriver as her guest (Author of I’ve Been Thinking) with another fellow Author Leeza Gibbons as her co – host.

Leeza Gibbons shared a story about Maria that had changed her life and I knew it was something I had to write about in connection with yesterday’s post- because I don’t want you to misunderstand a crucial part of feeling stuck.

According to the story Maria Shriver was going through a period of transition – I don’t know the details, but she is obviously a very resilient woman and known for bouncing back. Apparently at an event they were both sitting at the same table and a close friend of Maria’s had commented on her situation with ‘good intentions’ saying:

“Well Maria you are going to do what you always do – hold your head up high, – put it behind you and keep moving forward- that’s what you always do”.

After a few moments Maria Shriver apparently responded with this:

“Not this time – I am going to be with this for as long as it takes and see where this thing takes me.”

Life is complex and complicated, and being honest with ourselves about how we feel, with life’s complex situations is crucial to our mental and physical and spiritual health.

Please know that the magic lies in giving yourself permission to ‘be stuck’ for as long as you need- or to be in grief – or to be in anger- or in pain or loss- or spent- whatever that feeling is please know that you do not have to go straight to keep moving forward.

That’s not where strength lies. Strength can look like being floored (I will write my being on the floor experience very soon) and having the courage to say that you are. Being strong is also about letting go and being honest about being undone and allowing the feelings to guide you as you feel it.

I can now see ( after many painful years) that strength looks like letting yourself be what is true for you in that moment. Too often we confuse being strong singularly with keeping moving forward but the ability to move forward comes in your own time frame and it takes real strength to know when you are just simply stuck and need to ‘be’ for as long as it takes this time.

The feeling part has no time limit other than one that you see fit to set. It is that element of being that the magic of healing and personal transformation lies.

I realise that as I write, things might often seem contradictory as blog posts go from one area to another and at this stage in a seemingly random order- but everything is full of layers and full of independent experiences. Hopefully the book will weave them together in an order that flows for us both!

BUT- I’m clear on this- no-one has a carte blanche approach that they can apply to every emotional challenge but what we all do have is an innate wisdom that if we surrender to it will give us the permission to be whatever we really need to be in any given situation.

I totally stand by what I said yesterday about magic happening when you feel stuck- I totally believe it from personally experience and what’s a crucial add on to this -in this order -is that giving yourself permission to be stuck for as long as you need is not something that should never be skipped over- and only you can give yourself that permission.


With so much love until tomorrow.

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