Before we get int todays post I’ve a quick heads up because apparently I feature in day 4 of the Reclaim your life Summit which is today! So to watch it and the rest of the speakers remember to sign up below…
As I looked though the flower messages today I had already decided what I wanted to write about. The interesting thing is I didn’t have the thought from my deck that matched it. I was looking for one that said- “Do not let you thoughts stop you from taking action” or “It’s time to reject rejection” because the topic I want to write about today is rejecting rejection and of course the reason it was not in my flowers is because not only have I not written one yet but mostly because it’s probably been my biggest limiting factor. The flower above is the closest I’ve got to it.
“If I ask for I want I want they might say no and if they say no -I’m not sure how I’ll react but it feels too scary to even contemplate.”
Now I have been getting much better at this since I made the flower decks but I did think it was interesting that it doesn’t feature that much and I would still say my thoughts about rejection still rank pretty highly in a limiting kind of way.
Why did this come up today? I was on the beach earlier with our two dogs and I spotted some men dismantling metal rails on stone steps leading from the beach. This happened within minutes it seemed as they had used their special cutters to take them apart. Suddenly I remembered that I needed to get one of the handle bars of the gold bike that is attached to the staircase leading up to The Barefoot Sanctuary cut off . Now I don’t have one of these fancy saws but in that moment I spotted a man that did. The rhectoric in my head went a bit like this –
“Oh look how quickly he’s doing that – I could ask him to help me- yes that’s perfect timing it would only take him a few minutes- oh he might think I’m being cheeky- he might be angry I would even ask ( I mean really?) . You can’t ask him that they have enough to do -they have their hands full. Blah blah blah…”
I started to think about the writer Steven Pressfield I’m currently reading one of his 60+ books. Stephen writes in ‘How to get from where you are to where you want to be’ that the biggest different between the people who get want they want and those that don’t –is action. He goes on to explain that our thoughts and fears which come to the fore at the same time stop many of us from getting what we want. I know this is a big thing for me because I don’t even have the book at hand right now to be able to check what he said on this. You remember what you are meant to remember is my philosophy. His $100 dollar story was like a wake up call. It goes like this- During his workshops he often stands at the front of the large group of people and holds up a $100 bill. Then he proceeds to ask who would like the $100. People will yell out or put their hand up wave. He would remain standing until to quote him exactly “someone got it ” and that person would rush up to the front and take it from him. His teaching point here is – the only thing that separated the person who got the $100 and those that didn’t was action. The only reason I didn’t immediately go up and ask the Welders about helping me was because of the thoughts that were trying to stop me. In Steven’s story people shared that they didn’t want to look greedy or someone in the room needed the $100 more or people might judge them or they wanted to appear more successful – or that he might not give it to them and they would be embarrassed- bingo!
My thoughts were telling me I would be embarrassed if they said no or I might embarrass them and that’s not NICE- I was letting fear of rejection over this tiny thing stop me- from making a simple ask.
Now this is where it’s gets interesting as we go back to my beach experience and the welders. Due to these thoughts I had decided not to ask them when I remembered his vital message – “how you do anything is how you do everything”. Now that I knew what was stopping me the truth of that ‘why’ -I went into action. I turned back towards them met the man who was in charge -we spoke and he is more than happy to help. He will “catch it” this week working it around his main contracts.
Remember what I wrote about the other day – when you are honest about your why all parts of you show up. I walked up just because I could be rejected and I know I need to get over that to be able to do what I came here to do – to shine and help others shine brightly in the process. If he couldn’t help me someone else would have or I would have figured out another way, but mostly is this. I will need to overcome many of the random thoughts that would try to stop me from asking for want I want going forward and my reckoning is the more I practise asking for what I want in every single situation my ‘How I do anything is how I do everything’ will shift and evolve with me.
So often the Universe puts exactly what we need right in front of us – all we actually have to do is take action – If I held myself back in this situation just because of feeling awkward about it because of my thoughts- I would hold myself back in another situation too. It’s high time to break these patterns. How about you? whats stopping you from asking – discover your own patterns and once you know why you don’t act you can bring in all the guns to overcome it.
With love until tomorrow.
psst …Sign Up for the Reclaim Your Life Summit right here!