As a people pleaser in recovery this has probably been one of the toughest things for me to embrace. As an empath you feel everyone’s else’s desires and that can often muddy the waters a bit. It takes a daily practice, and even then sometimes that isn’t enough to really tune into the actual colours an empath desires in life.
Yet as I sit and look at this card today I am yet again struck by its simplicity- it’s clean lines, it’s clarity. Many of my flowers have seven or eight words and so maybe -the whole less is more, is also why it really stands out. Take that into a people pleasing context and you get:
The less people pleasing you do the more outstanding your life will be- your colours- your way.
So why do we get stuck in people pleasing mode- why do we let other people’s ideas visions and dreams that our body is telling us do not align with our own define our daily lives?
My theory is that somewhere along our journey we have lost faith that we are enough – we have forgotten that we are individually creative and that our choices are just as important as others. Also throw into the mix the comparison factor- as we tune out from that early Source bubble – we start the inevitable comparison and we start to forget that we are all like an individual flower of great significance- we forget how unique we are meant to be- and we are so mesmerised by others that we admire that we start to try to act like them talk like them dress like them.
They are our greatest teachers – they are trying to help us wake up.
I remember as a teenager an old friend calling me out on my clothes. I had been moving from different friend groups, partly due to the fact that she was now in a very serious relationship and I was not –and apparently my clothes kept changing to match the group I was hanging about with. I was so shocked by this revelation but when I stepped back I couldn’t deny it.
Looking back, I can see that it was a very defining moment for me, a portal of awareness so to speak and gradually I started to embrace what I loved to wear regardless of the friend group. I say gradually because without doubt elements of it continued for sure as a student so it probably took the move to Scotland in my early twenties. Devoid of those strong peer groups I started to buy my clothes based entirely on my own preferences.
In my mid 30’s a Scottish friend made the comment that I always seemed to dress in an individual way- so I realise that in some ways at least I was colouring my life in my own way.
My challenge was to do this in other areas of my life – in my work life, my social life – my spiritual life- my love life.
Over the last 8 years embracing the same approach I use to my wardrobe, I try ‘new things on for size feel and comfort’ and I recognise the connection. When I remember this because only very recently I forgot again – each of these areas take on a whole new palette and everyone is richer for it- this is the thing that we misunderstand as people pleasers- when we do colour our life our own way its a win win!
With love until tomorrow.
One of the tool that I love using as a Coach is colour analysis. I have traditionally used this in group workshops in the main but just as I have had to shake things up in this department recently would love to run some 1-1 sessions for others who feel the same. This 90 minute session with me will reveal the colours that help your ‘Ness’ shine through. So if you are feeling a bit flat in the colour department – invest in this session and let your true colours shine through.
To book a session click on the add to cart and I will be in touch with a date and time slot
Also Coming up …Book Here.