Are you shoulding yourself to death?

I’m in the process of writing my first book- that statement now makes me accountable ( I would appreciate all loving thoughts from those that love my blogs- it’s why I’ve not been sending out as many blogs and why I won’t be sending out many blogs through the next few months- bear with me. I may re-issue some former ones – its always worth reviewing these posts and many of you won’t have seen them so leave that with me. The journal you see here is not the title of the book but it’s certainly been part of the process- if you want to get a copy of that you can now buy them online via the Barefoot Shop. There is a lot of processing in this process- so I’m scribbling notes- getting lost in thought and working on the characters but as I’ve never done it before – I don’t know what it’s meant to look like i.e. the process of writing a book and this post is as much for me as I figure this out as it is for you. I have visions of the perfect writing scenario and then when that doesn’t happen the old SHOULD word tries to sneak in- versions of “you should know what you are doing already” make me want to scrap the whole idea and don’t get me started on the procrastination- but there is a message that wants to come out and I’m just trying to get out of my own way so that it can. Thankfully one page is almost complete and that’s the thank you page because before it’s even printed I have so many many people that are now on that page- that in itself feels such an achievement and a blessing to have met such wonderful people over the last 7 years and to fall in love more deeply with those that I’ve known for much longer – it’s for them and every light being that I have meet on my journey and still to meet that have had a tough time remembering, that I am writing this for- and because I forgot me – I’m writing it for me…but for now here is the blog…


Do you feel the need to be perfect?

Do you feel the need to be funnier?

Do you feel the need to be good?

Do you feel the need to be kind?

In other words do you should yourself to death?


These are thoughts because of that SHOULD that I believe drive us mad wear us down and can dim our beautiful light…


BUT …What if there is no perfect? that there never has been- and that the whole point of our existence on earth here is much less complex- that it might actually make us laugh out loud at the beautiful simplicity of it all. When this awareness first hit me in 2010 I actually did laugh out loud- like I suddenly got an age old cosmic joke..funny sometimes I can’t recall the joke- it slips away again…


I’m going to use the word ‘if’ in a moment here for good reason – the purpose of my writing is to lead you into inquiry- your own inquiry is the essential element- so ponder this..


If …we are intuitive beings- if …we are beings of light on a human adventure yet so heavily programmed that the natural intuitive ways feel wonky well it’s no wonder that we have these thoughts and we are confused about how we could be on this earth- then again IF we are not light beings on a human journey why does it feel off in certain situations- why does it feel like something in this world just isn’t right?


What if we came here to be a joyful beings? – to feel our way through each moment by moment- what if we came here to experience -joy -love -compassion -kindness by giving it and by equal measure -receiving it?


What if we didn’t come weighed down with the debt of Original Sin- what if we choose to come with our eyes wide open but that we agreed to let ourselves forget momentarily so that we could have fun remembering- (that’s the cosmic joke part).


If other thoughts are clouding your mind and you are giving yourself a very hard time-  your thoughts are creating a reality that doesn’t have to be created- but it is creating a reality that stops you from showing up just as you are. You don’t have to believe the thoughts that feel cloudy- you can pause and receive other information from each and every experience – you can remember to do what you are naturally born to do – feel your way through this whole experience.


Do you experience these cloudy thoughts- How does this affect you -being you -on a daily basis? Does it wear you out – do you feel overwhelmed? Are you so in your head that you are not in your body feeling it all…


So let’s just PAUSE and reframe those words….I know it helps me to do so…


The funny thing is- being kind to you here and now is the one perfect good thing that you (won’t use should even here) could do!


You are perfect just as you are- what you find funny is funny that’s good enough- and if you are funny one moment doesn’t mean you have to be funny every minute. On the good enough front-You are already good enough- always always have been so doing something because it feels good to do that something -is the only qualifier that you need to concern yourself with and finally… One kind thought towards you each day could change your world and that’s no small thing- because when you are kinder to you- kindness comes out of you automatically.

It’s time to let go of any should’s so that you CAN feel a new level of freedom within every fibre of your being.

Love and cherish you a bit more today by pausing and reframing your thoughts and your world may just look that bit brighter.


With Love and tons of admiration.

Til the next time



The Love Cherish Journal – ( featured above) is a powerful self coaching tool – a place where you can cherish the moments of your day that help you see your beautiful reality and a place to write love letters from your inner wise self. click here to buy your copy via the Barefoot Shop 🙂


To checkout what’s on at The Barefoot Sanctuary here.. 




  1. Sue smillie · June 3, 2017

    We are all perfectly imperfect ! Love your blog Bernie

  2. Bernie Petrie · June 5, 2017

    Hi Sue perfectly imperfect 🙂 thank you for the feedback honey- much love B xxx

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